Life in My Thirties

Thirty, flirty, and thriving.

The famous words Jenna Rink said in the cult classic 2004 movie, 13 Going on 30, ring out profusely in my head as I enter my 31st year on this planet. 30, sure. Been there for a year now. Flirty, well I’m married so I think I have that part down. Thriving? In large part, I think, yes, I am thriving. But are there areas I can thrive in more? I can’t help but ask myself, am I truly living to my fullest potential in my thirties?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have a full decade to explore this question. However, as I approach the ripe age of 31, I worry that I’m still harboring old habits from my twenties that I swore up and down would not follow me into my thirties. 

Habits, you ask? Yes, let’s discuss.

First, smoking. I shared on Instagram that I, very proudly I might add, successfully quit smoking. I was about a week too early sharing that information as one week later, I found myself falling off the wagon and purchasing another pack of cigarettes. It’s a bad habit and it’s awful for my health. I know these things. I can’t seem to shake it though. 

Binge eating is another habit that seems to have spilled over into my thirties. I shared in an earlier blog post that I was working on making healthier choices, but it’s been challenging. I was certain that binge eating was something I’d just magically gain control over when I turned 30. Because when you’re 30, you’re a full blown adult, right? Wrong. Pretending like I’m a human garbage disposal and eating whatever I please is not something I’m proud of and I constantly tell myself each day that “today is a new day” and yet, I still seem to fall short of the expectations I set for myself.

Overspending. Again, I thought this was something that would just magically stop happening when I turned 30. I would instead have a full grasp of our finances and be able to purchase things responsibly, ensuring that each purchase I did make had a purpose and fit into our respective budget. Budget, that’s cute. Instead, I continue to buy things I really don’t need. Things like makeup, cleaning supplies, food, and books. But let’s be honest, books are a necessity!

Low self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong, one thing that I have noticed since entering my thirties is that I care a lot less about what people think of me. I still care, but it doesn't bother me as much. For example, finding the correct entrance into a place of business. In my twenties, I would have feared that everyone inside the building was staring at me wandering aimlessly around the building trying to find my way inside. Now, I know that these people have better things to do than watch me wander around aimlessly to find my way inside. And if they don’t, oh well. 

That being said, I still have low self-esteem. No matter how many times I hear compliments, I can’t help but focus on the things I find wrong with myself. I’m overweight, my clothes don’t fit, my makeup smears throughout the day, my mustache grows back super quickly no matter how often I wax or shave. (Don’t judge, I’m sure you have one too.) I don’t want to spend the rest of my thirties focusing on these things. I want to appreciate who I am, as I am.

Diets. Oh this one is the worst. This habit kind of falls in line with my binge eating. I thought for sure when I entered my thirties I would just know how to eat a healthy, balanced diet. Instead, I’m all over the place bouncing from one thing to another. I told myself no more diets and as I mentioned before, tried to focus on making healthier choices. Instead, I wake up one day ready to banish carbs only to find myself downloading MyFitnessPal the next so I can start counting calories. It’s exhausting. 

And you know what irks me the most about old habits from my twenties spilling over into my thirties? It’s the fact that I have control over all of it. It’s learning the fact that these things won’t just magically change themselves. I have to make it happen on my own and that’s challenging. 

As my 31st birthday approaches, I’ve decided to focus on each of these habits and work with myself on changing them and making new, better habits. Because these habits are preventing me from thriving and becoming my best self. As I continue to share my book reviews, monthly favorites, makeup purchases, etc. I plan to share a series on how I’m breaking each of these bad habits and forming new ones that will help me to thrive my way through my thirties. Join me and maybe find some of your own bad habits to break, if you have any. So tell me, what ways are you ensuring that you’re thriving this year? Let me know down in the comments or over on my Instagram @etsparkles. 

Until next week! Xx Emily